In the News

Want to learn more about Footsteps and its mission? We keep an up-to-date collection of articles, videos and interviews about Footsteps, its staff and its members here. Don’t worry – we know how important confidentiality is to our membership. Everyone interviewed or even mentioned on this page volunteered to be featured in their article.

In Brooklyn, Stifling Higher Learning Among Hasidic Women, By Ginia Bellafante

September 2, 2016 – The New York Times

In the mid-1940s, Joel Teitelbaum, an eminent and charismatic rabbi, immigrated to the United States, colonizing a section of Williamsburg in Brooklyn for his Hasidic sect, the Satmar, its name taken from the Hungarian town of Szatmar, where Rabbi Teitelbaum had fought to resist the encroachments of a modernizing society.

Subsequent decades have seen virtually no retrenchment in the sect’s mistrust of the larger world.

Read the full article here.

An Outcasted Hasid Finds the Courage to Live By Her Own Beliefs, Stylelikeu

August 15, 2016 – What’s Underneath | Stylelikeu

“Of course, I’m a worthy human being. I don’t have to do anything to deserve it. I exist and, therefore, I’m good enough.”

Growing up a “perfect” straight-A student in her Lubavitch (a branch of Hasidism) community, Deena Chanowitz had to basically conceal every part of her body (from her ankles to her elbows) least a man catch a glimpse of her bare skin and be lead to “sin.” As Deena tells it, “There is so much fear of inappropriate sexuality that it breeds all kinds of other forms of sexuality.”

Watch the video here.

Ex-Orthodox Feel Pushed From Their Communities — But Still Cherish Being Jewish, By Ari Feldman

June 23, 2016 – Forward

Mark Trencher, the director of Nishma Research, noted that there was an inverse relationship between level of observance while still a part of Orthodox Judaism and level of observance after leaving.

The study was a joint effort with Footsteps, an organization that helps facilitate the transition out of Modern and ultra-Orthodox communities for those wishing to leave. It may be difficult to leave Orthodox Judaism, or simply leave a specific community, if an individual does not know people outside the community, does not have the material means to leave, or does not have sufficient English skills to live on their own.

“The only surprising thing to us was how many people filled it out in a week and a half,” says Lani Santo, the executive director of Footsteps. “It’s great to have quantitative data on things that we as an organization have known qualitatively for some time.”

Read the full article here. Review the full survey results here.

Child-sex abuse victim rallies Orthodox Jews to pressure politicians for Child Victims Act passage, By Michael O’Keeffe

June 1, 2016 – New York Daily News

“Ken Thompson should be on the front line supporting this bill,” Levin said of the Brooklyn district attorney, who was elected to the post in part because he promised to be tougher on sex abuse in the Orthodox community than his predecessor, Charles Hynes. “He should be telling the Republicans in Albany, ‘We can’t do our job without this bill.’”

Levin’s inspiring survivor story and uncompromising activism are drawing attention. The Jewish Week community newspaper named him one of its “36 Under 36” last week, and he will be honored this week by Footsteps, an organization that provides support to those who wish to leave the Orthodox community.

Read the full article here.

36 Under 36 2016, The Jewish Week

May 23, 2016 – The Jewish Week

A Voice For Transgender Chasidic Jews

When Abby Stein began her transition from male to female at the age of 23, she could have chosen to stay under the radar. Instead, she came out on her blog, and when reporters started calling she responded, because she wanted to let other chasidic transgender Jews know they are not alone.

“I wanted to be a voice,” she said. “If someone would have told me then that there were other people like me, it just would have been so helpful.”

Read the full article here.

Standing Up For LGBTQ Rights

From the time Chaim Levin was 6, a cousin six years his senior sexually abused him. The violent assaults continued weekly until he was 10 — in his father’s shul, their houses and their Catskill bungalows. At 14 he told his rabbi, who advised his parents to preserve family unity by “pretending nothing happened” — a “systematic cover-up,” he says, “that still haunts me.”

But it didn’t silence him. Levin, who came out at 15 to a friend and endured homophobic yeshivas here and in Israel, eventually found a way to be a strong voice and champion for LGBTQ Orthodox Jews.

Read the full article here.

From Conversion Therapy to a Rainbow Yarmulke; Death, Sex & Money

May 11, 2016 – Death, Sex & Money 

“Chaim and Benjy grew up in Orthodox Jewish communities in Brooklyn, but they didn’t meet until they signed up for a therapy program then called JONAH, or Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality. Chaim was 18, and Benjy was 20. Both were attracted to men, and they sought out the program hoping to become straight.”

Listen to the podcast here.

Child Abuse Allegations Plague The Hasidic Community, By Elijah Wolfson

March 3, 2016 – Newsweek

Somehow, in the midst of this Caribbean decadence, a very different community also thrived. Just a few blocks from the scantily dressed beachgoers and the drug lords in Armani silk were men in ill-fitting black suits and heavy beards, and women in thick wigs and long woolen skirts all year long, even as the wet heat of the Atlantic swept across the peninsula. The ranks of Miami’s ultra-Orthodox Jews, Hasidim, were swelling. They were insular and defiantly anti-secular, clinging to traditions that may have protected their community in a medieval world but in modern America would lead to tragic consequences for many of their youngest, most vulnerable members.

Read the full article here.

Off the Path of Orthodoxy, By Talia Lavin

July 31, 2015 – The New Yorker

There are many terms for people who have left Orthodox Judaism: apikores (an ancient Hebrew term for “apostate”); chozer b’she’elah (a decorous Israeli term, which translates roughly to “one who returns with questions”); frei (Yiddish for “free,” usually used in a derogatory fashion); and “O.T.D.,” or “off the derech” (“derech” is Hebrew for “path”). The last term, once a dismissive way to describe Orthodox youth who sought to explore drugs and sex, has been reclaimed by some ex-Orthodox Jews. Using this term says: Yes, I have left your path—and now I must find my own way.

Read the full article here.

Op-Ed: Faigy Mayer’s suicide is a Jewish tragedy, not just an Orthodox one, By Shulem Deen

July 24, 2015 – Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA)

In September 2013, I gathered with a group of friends to share feelings and reflections on the suicide death of one our friends, Deb Tambor, who had been struggling with a variety of issues related to leaving the insular Hasidic Jewish world. Next to me sat Faigy Mayer, a friend and fellow ex-Hasid.

Faigy and I talked for a bit, about Deb, and about our own lives. She told me she was doing well. I told her I was writing an essay about Deb’s death for an online magazine, and she offered me some helpful thoughts.

This week, nearly two years later, Faigy jumped to her own death from a 20-story building in Manhattan.

The news, when I heard it, shook me, as it did many in our community of ex-haredi Orthodox Jews. But it didn’t shock me. It’s almost as if we’ve come to expect another suicide in our ranks every so often.

Read the full article here.

The Journey Out: Peril And Promise In Leaving The Ultra-Orthodox Jewish World, By Talia Lavin

May 21, 2015 – The Huffington Post

Shulem Deen’s first steps away from Hasidic Judaism were in the direction of a radio. Defying his community’s express prohibitions against secular media, Deen waited until his wife and children were sleeping. Then he leaned in close to the small tape player in his home — the one whose radio he hadn’t had the heart to disable. He turned it on and began to listen.

“I switched the dial from one station to another, commercials for medical malpractice attorneys, car dealerships and department store blowout sales filling me with forbidden pleasure,” Deen wrote in his recently released memoir, All Who Go Do Not Return. “I was like a visitor from a different era encountering our modern one, captivated by its very mundaneness.”

Read the full article here.

Expelled for Heresy, The Brian Lehrer Show

April 16, 2015 – The Brian Lehrer Show

Shulem Deen, a former Skverer Hasid, the founding editor of Unpious and the author of All Who Go Do Not Return: A Memoir (Graywolf Press, 2015), isn’t the first to lose his faith, but as former Skverer Hasid, that loss cost him his family and community.  He tells his story.

Listen to the show here.

Supporting Jews in Transition: Lani Santo, 36 Under 36 Special Edition of The Jewish Week, By Amy Sara Clark

June 1, 2015 – The Jewish Week

When Lani Santo was 13 and living with her Modern Orthodox family in the increasingly black-hat neighborhood of Kew Gardens, her mother came out as gay.

“I couldn’t tell anyone or be my authentic self because I had the understanding that everyone was basically the same … even in the Modern Orthodox world,” she said.

Now, as executive director of Footsteps, an organization that helps Jews leaving black hat and chasidic communities, the experience resonates.

“Although I didn’t come from a charedi background, I have a firsthand understanding of some of the challenges that a veil of conformity in a community can do to an individual’s self-actualization, becoming who they feel they authentically are,” said Santo.

Read the full article here.

‘Hasidic Rebel’ Shulem Deen on Leaving Orthodoxy and Losing His Children, By Julie Wiener

April 8, 2015 – Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA)

Footsteps is featured in a Q&A with Shulem Deen and JTA

JTA: I know you’re on the board of Footsteps, a nonprofit that helps people leaving the haredi Orthodox community to make the transition to the secular world. Is there an increase in the number of people choosing to leave?

Deen: Footsteps represents anywhere from 10-25 percent of the people who leave, and the number of new people who come each year is rising steadily. The fact that many of us are writing and publishing, this gives those who leave somewhat more prominence, and people within the Hasidic community are not oblivious to this, especially people who are thinking of leaving. We have people in medical school, getting master’s degrees, a nice number of lawyers. It’s becoming a community that has people doing things in the world, and that serve as something of an example that defies the old stereotype of the OTD [an acronym for a term that means “off the path”] person who’s lost, dysfunctional, has no home, no friends, gets involved in drugs and takes up with a bad crowd.

Read the full article here.

Life After Conservative Faith: The Defectors Who Leave Ultra-Orthodox Communities, By Farah Halime

March 27, 2015 – The Guardian

Shulem Deen swipes through photos of his eldest daughter’s wedding with a look of pride on his face. He points to a modestly-dressed bride sitting stiffly next to her husband. “I know how nervous they felt,” he says.

Deen is only guessing; he wasn’t invited to his daughter’s wedding. These are not official photos – they were taken clandestinely by people he asked to infiltrate the ceremony.

Deen, 40, left the cloistered ultra-Orthodox Jewish enclave of New Square, a village in Rockland County, New York, seven years ago. He is one of a minority that has stepped off the derech, the devout and religious path.

Like others who have turned their back on the Hasidic way of life, Deen has lost contact with his five children and has been ostracized from the community for being a heretic. At the same time, he has found it difficult to assimilate to non-Hasidic culture and worries he comes across as strange to New Yorkers.

Read the full article here.

Stepping Off the Path and Redefining Faith, By Samuel G. Freedman

October 17, 2014 – The New York Times

The cantor closed his eyes and lifted his voice into Kol Nidre, the prayer that begins Yom Kippur, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar. The young men and women assembled before him, perhaps 80 in all, instantly recognized the plaintive chant. They had known it for their entire lives.

Some responded with a wistful gaze, as if Kol Nidre conjured the memory of distant sweetness. A few laughed, finding the somber liturgy ridiculous. Several glared with fresh anger, fisted hands in their laps, not applauding with the others when the cantor concluded.

Read the full article here.

Formerly Orthodox and Struggling for Parental Rights, By Melanie Grayce West

August 11, 2014 – The Wall Street Journal

Divorce decrees granted by religious leaders heavily favor the still-devout parent

When Shloime Fisher started his divorce process three years ago, he found the proceedings to be “very civilized.” Now, Mr. Fisher said, he faces an uphill battle to broaden his paternity rights.

What has made his situation different from the average soured divorce is that he wasn’t only unwinding a marriage—he was divorcing the whole Orthodox Jewish community.

Most New Yorkers reach a divorce agreement through mediators or civil court—usually over several months, with an attorney’s help. But those who leave the Orthodox Jewish faith, as Mr. Fisher did, must mediate their divorces through religious leaders, facing agreements that heavily favor the still-devout parent, experts say.

“From a religious perspective, certainly, there is a sense among Orthodox Jews that Jews are born with a special mission as God’s chosen people,” said Rabbi David Zwiebel, an attorney and executive vice president of Agudath Israel of America, an organization representing devoutly Orthodox Jews. “When a person who has been raised in that tradition walks away, it is considered a tragic outcome.”

Mr. Fisher’s custody agreement allows him just a few hours with his five children on alternating Sundays.

“People who leave the religious community end up signing away their rights,” said the 32-year-old Brooklyn-based accountant.

Read the full article here.

What Brooklyn Hasids and Southern Jews Share, By Anne Cohen and Sigal Samuel

July 17, 2014 – The Forward.com

Turn off Highway I-55 N at Frontage Road in Jackson, Mississippi and you’ll come across a non-descript squat brown building. Inside is a trove of Jewish learning.

The Institute of Southern Jewish Life (ISJL) delivers rabbinic services, educational programs and cultural events to small Jewish communities spread across 13 states. Their community engagement director is Malkie Schwartz, whom New Yorkers know as the founder of Footsteps, a nonprofit organization that supports Jews seeking to transition from ultra-Orthodoxy into the mainstream. Schwartz left Crown Heights’ Chabad Lubavitch community in 2000. She moved down south five years ago.

Anne Cohen and Sigal Samuel caught up with Schwartz in Jackson, the latest stop on their road trip through the Jewish South.

Read the full article here.